Negotiation Tip- Countering an Argument in Negotiation with “Feel, Felt, Found”.


The other party and you are in disagreement over an issue in a negotiation.  How can you counter their argument without destroying the relationship? Use a little negotiation jujitsu with an effective technique called “Feel, Felt, Found”.  

Let’s say you have an offer for your program that includes several options such as a book and a consultation.  The other person wants a discount instead of getting the bonuses because he feels they are of little or no value.  So you apply the technique to show him the value.  It goes like this:

I know that you feel like the bonuses have no value.  Many of my customers have felt that way too. However, they have found after buying my package that the bonuses relate directly to the main package you are buying and have good added value.  The free consultation helped them clarify their goals. 

The reason why this technique is effective is because you are showing empathy with the other person.  Here is how it is broken down:

  You put yourself in their shoes and you let them know that you heard them by saying “I understand how you feel.”

  Next, you let them know that they are not alone in feeling this way.  “Many of my customers felt that way too.”

  Then, you show them that after taking an action that there was a positive reaction.  “My customers have found that after buying my package (desired action) that the bonuses relate directly to the main package you are buying and have good added value.  The free consultation helped them clarify their goals (positive result).

Here are some additional tips to make this really effective.  First you must understand their objection and not directly challenge it.  You must be sincere, mean it and be natural when delivering the message.  Look at them and establish a connection.  Offer them the social proof.  If you can name names do it; it makes the proof stronger.  Finally, you must show them the benefit of accepting your position or taking the action.  Numerate the benefit and not just say it was okay.  For example show how people were using the book for quick reference or that it had charts or checklists that the audio did not include.

“Feel, Felt, Found” is a good way to overcome objections or counter arguments in a negotiation or in your sales conversations.  Have you used or seen this technique in action?


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  1. I know how you feel about buying a bigger place at the beach. I felt the same way for a while. But I’ve found that it has so much merit that we should take action right away. LOL LOL 🙂 XOXO

    • Did i forget to mention that an experienced negotiator is wise to this and it doesn’t work. 😉

  2. Very nice indeed! I really like this – simple and yet seems it could be very effective. I look forward to using this approach – thanks!

  3. Y’all are too cute! So many times it really does come down to addressing feelings and putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. I love this tip, Bill. Thanks for sharing it. 🙂

  4. Bill, Yes, this is a fine tip to utilize and you are correct in that experienced negotiators know the method.

  5. Oooh this is a great tip to use in sales conversations! Thanks 🙂

  6. I feel that Sue makes a good point, and I’ve met other husbands who felt that that their negotiating skills could negotiate their way away from the good points their wives made, but what they’ve found was (my dad for example who just celebrated 50 years with my mom)… happy wife happy life. How’s that for a negotiation technique? But seriously, I’ve never heard this before even though I have practiced jujitsu, and it sounds like a great strategy. And it’s easy to remember. Especially when I’ve just practiced it. ps I’d like to come visit the beach house 🙂

  7. Bill, I learn something from you every time. I have not used this but appreciate the tips!

  8. This is such an effective way to show your point of view without alienating the other person. It definitely has a more collaborative approach to getting to a resolution.

  9. Love the “Feel, Felt, Found Juijitsu.” 😉 I agree with Jennifer–you can definitely apply this to sales conversations.

  10. Great smart tips as always Bill – reading your posts is like having a negotiator in your pocket